Monday, February 26, 2018


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

A few days ago I got home from work and found a box waiting for me on my front steps. Inside the box was this heart full of goodies:

Yummy! But who sent this gift of deliciousness? A flyer in the box said that the name of the sender was on the front of the box. The label on the box said MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH.

I don't have a relative or a child who misses me, so someone in the blogosphere needs to fess up and receive my thanks. I know that quite a few of you have my address.

I have three more weeks of training at work. Then I'll start my "real" schedule. I hope I'll have more time to return to my contrary grammarian ways.

My new work-related benefits are great, and the training has all been paid time (including the shift differential I'll get with my schedule). Every time I think, This is too hard . . . I should stay at home with the doggies, I get a paycheck to remind that the job is great. Plus, I love the people at work.

I did speak to a woman on the phone, however, who must have just finished sucking on the sourest lemon in the world. When I asked if she was near a representative with whom I could speak, she said, Yes, there's a representative here WITH WHOM you can speak, I swear acid must have dripped from her mouth when she said "with whom" because she sounded so nasty. Excuse me all to hell for using correct grammar.

Remember when I was worried about learning Excel? We never use it at work, and it wasn't in the job description. I'm glad I learned it, though, because all of the information I entered should make it easier to do my taxes. I need to get started on those.

I miss you all. I visit at least a few blogs every Sunday afternoon.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Sunday, January 28, 2018


I've been so busy that I started writing this post three weeks ago--I think--and I'm finally getting back to it.

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Before The Great Freeze of 2018 began (we've gotten down to 29 degrees a few times lately and the natives can't handle it when it's 60 so try to imagine how upset they've been), a lovely blogger named Jenny at Procrastinating Donkey posted some funny photos, including this one:

Just so you know, I asked Jenny if she minded me repeating this photo;
she said, Go right ahead, rip-off bitch. You don't think she meant
that in a sarcastic way, do you?
You know I'm kidding, right? Jenny is great. You should follow her.

I commented: The dog who was hoping for a puppy looks very much like Penelope, who would probably have a heart attack if a cat showed up in our house.
Well, a few hours later I was in my closet organizing my shoes . . .

What? You think it's weird to organize my shoes? It makes the shoes happy and happy shoes feel good on my tootsies.

I heard a strange noise coming from another room and walked to the hall to discover Franklin tussling with something in the hall bathroom, also known as Willy Dunne Wooters' bathroom because the master bath is much nicer so it's mine all mine because the kindergarten teacher can no longer give me a minus in plays well with others, though I suspect Willy Dunne Wooters thinks I play just fine.

Anydog, I thought a rat had tunneled into the house through a wall because he didn't know about the fall of the Berlin Wall and Franklin was trying to educate him. I couldn't see the creature, but he was making some noise. I told Franklin to stop and moved in for a closer look.

It wasn't a rat! It was a cat! A cat on the bathroom mat!

I think she was a lady cat because she wore a pink collar with little jingle bells. With Franklin out of the way, she tore down the hall to my office.

No, Franklin didn't hurt the cat. It was such a nice day that I had the backdoor open. She wandered in.

I sent Franklin outside because I hoped to persuade Queen Kitty to leave. She was white and appeared to be a fairly nice--albeit frightened and upset--cat.

Penelope followed me into the office and showed me Kitty's hiding placer behind the shelves that serve as a resting place for my office supplies. Penelope was not in freak out or heart attack mode. She displayed nothing but cautious curiosity toward Kitty.

But Kitty wasn't having it. She managed to get underneath the shelves.

So Penelope joined Franklin outside. I moved the shelves out and spoke to Kitty for a bit. Then I touched her. She didn't recoil. I started petting her. All was well. I picked her up and headed to the front door. As we approached, she dug her claws into my shirt and then into my skin. She wiggled and fought. As soon as I opened the door, she sprang from my arms, leaving me with a few claw marks.

So that's the story of our uninvited guest. Florida has warmed up again. It's 75 degrees and the backdoor is open. Franklin lounges on the deck. As long as he stays there, I don't think any cats will try to see if our palace is a great place for a cat to live.

I'll try to come around to visit as many of you as possible, but if comments are still taking an eternity to post, I won't be able to leave many.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Thursday, January 18, 2018


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Today, thanks to you, I passed the background check for my new job so I'm not getting fired––at least for a while.

I'm grateful to all of you who sent emails and expressed concern and interest.

Franklin and Penelope thank you, too. They miss me while I'm working, but they're glad I can pay for food and toys. Penelope has also expressed a wish for another jacket so she doesn't have to wear the same old thing every day.

It's very cold here, at least for us. We're getting down to 28 degrees at night. And to think at times I lived in places where the wind chill was 28 below and we had three feet of snow.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

my uniform for work

Tuesday, January 16, 2018


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

My new employer wants to know about pro bono (free) work that I've done so I can pass my background check and keep my job.

If I have done some kind of work for you without charge, please email me at if you are willing to write a brief email to my employer to say what kind of work I did for you and that I did not charge you.

Examples of work that I might have done for you without charge:

Please email me ASAP and when I'm not at work or making the long, treacherous commute, I'll let you know what I need you to do . I hope that writing and sending the email to my employer won't take more than 10 or 15 minutes of your time. I will also send personal emails to some of you because I know I've saved your shit been kind enough to help you out, so check your inbox before you email me at

You complete me.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Saturday, January 13, 2018


Dear Hearts and Gentle People,

I'm sorry I haven't been around to see you. Know that I care about you and miss you all very much.

I spent the past week training for my new job. Fortunately, it's paid training. Unfortunately, it might be a temporary job.

I don't know when I'll be able to blog again or visit you, but I'm thinking about you.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Saturday, December 30, 2017


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

On this day in 2009, I wrote my first blog post. During these eight years, my blog has had 980,451 page views. Most of the viewers are in the U.S., but those of you in the U.K. and Canada have hung in there with me, too. (I ignore views from Russia because Willy Dunne Wooters assures me that those are spambot.)

My blog has changed a lot over the years. I'm not the bitter person who signed her early posts with the pseudonym Dumped First Wife. I'm also not the giddy, post-divorce woman who used the name Lola. Now I'm just me, Janie Junebug.

My dog situation has changed, too. I moved to Florida in 2009 with four dogs. One of the four returned to Illinois very quickly because she seemed to be allergic to Florida. The other three have passed away. I'm grateful that Franklin and Penelope are here to take care of me, and very grateful that they write their own blog posts.

Sometimes I love blogging. I certainly enjoy the many people I meet. In the early days, blogging was my therapy. I still enjoy blogging, but I can't say I have the fervent desire to write the almost-daily posts that I once had.

I haven't even scolded you much about grammar lately. I've covered a lot of grammatical ground. People who write "should of" instead of "should have" are going to continue to do so in spite of my protests.

I've made my share of mistakes, too, and I don't mean typos only. I've been rude to some visitors to my blog and hurt some feelings with comments I made.

One problem that can't be erased is that I associated the name of a great blogger with the topic of see-through yoga pants. My most popular post ever is Rick Watson & The Sheer Yoga Pants, viewed by 30,346 seekers. I never intended to link Rick, a real sweetheart who blogs at Life 101, for all eternity with those unattractive yoga pants. It simply happened that the first part of the post was about Rick and the second part was about sheer yoga pants. 

I've also doomed myself to seeing these search terms turn up in my stats on a regular basis: big ass in yoga pants, big butts in yoga pants, sheer yoga pants, big ass women, and so on and so forth.

In honor of the popularity of sheer yoga pants, however, I'll say farewell to 2017 with this view:

Happy New Year! See you in 2018.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Friday, December 22, 2017


Hi! Hi, Every Buddy! Hi! Hi! Hi! It's me! It's me me me me mememememememememememememe, Franklin the Bordernese! Kissmas is coming so don't catch a cold that makes you sneeze!

I wanna sing for you today. I heard a song called White Kissmas. I made up my own words to it, so I'll type the words, and you have to imagine the tune. My part is in blue. Penlapee wants to help so her part is in parentheses in pink.

Here we go!

I'm dreaming of a kissy Kissmas
like every Kissmas I've known with Mom (we love our Mom).

When the palace glistens 
and Mommy listens
if we tell her a package thief
is on our road (our road, our road, our royal roooooooooo

I'm dream (roooo Penlapee, that's long enough ooad) ing of a kissy Kissmas
each time I see Mom's credit card (she buys doggy toys with the plastic card).
May your moms be merry and bright
and may all your Kissmases be like mine (and miiiiiiiiiine).

I hope your Kissmas includes a meal of delicious kibble and a toy. Be sure to do some butt sniffin', too.

Now I have to work on pretending I'm asleep. I have to get good at it so I can catch Santa Paws in the act on Kissmas Eve.

Okay. I love you. Bye-bye.


Merry Kissmas from all of us!