For the first part of my enticing tale about the two adorable nine-year-old boys who live behind me, please click HERE. For the second part, in which I reveal even more about what cuties they are, please click HERE.
We are so fortunate today to have a special guest to help us continue our story. It's the highly overrated actress known as Meryl Streep.
Highly overrated Meryl is a parent herself, so she was quick to agree when I asked if I could channel her in order to deal with the boys.
|That pretty woman next to Meryl refused to help us.|
She claimed she had to go to her best friend's wedding
during August in Osage County.
As you may recall, the two nine-year-old boys who live behind me were at home alone and were making quite a ruckus. I decided to use my inner Meryl to turn myself into
Yes, I used my acting talent to turn into a Mama Grizzly Bear––a feat that highly overrated Meryl has never achieved.
I marched up to the fence to screech, THERE WILL BE NO MORE CLIMBING. YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT. THERE WILL BE NO MORE THROWING THINGS AT THE FENCE. YOU'RE GOING TO CAUSE PROPERTY DAMAGE AND IT WILL BE EXPENSIVE AND I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WILL PAY FOR IT. THERE WILL BE NO MORE THROWING THINGS OVER THE FENCE. YOU'RE FRIGHTENING MY DOGS AND I'M SICK OF IT. SICK! SICK! SICK! YOU DON'T BELONG AT HOME ALONE, BUT IF NO ONE IS WATCHING YOU, THEN I'LL WATCH YOU. I'LL BE WATCHING YOU ALL THE TIME AND IF YOU DO ONE MORE THING YOU SHOULDN'T DO, THEN YOU WILL BE SO SORRY.
Although highly overrated Meryl was shocked that I could do something she couldn't, my mad skills earned her approval.
The boys seemed to be impressed, too. They looked frightened as soon as they saw Mama Bear. They withered at my gaze and sidled into the backdoor of THEIR house.
But highly overrated Meryl and I had to do one more thing. I picked up my cell phone to call the police. Although the state of Florida has no law regarding the age of children who can be left alone without supervision, I decided it was a good idea to try to scare the crap out of the revolving adults who sometimes visit the house.
Hello, I said. This is The Queen Of Grammar. I live in The Palace on Royal Avenue.
Then I recounted the behavior of the darling boys for the police. I didn't want to confront the parents myself. Besides, I still don't know who in the hell lives in that house, other than the boys.
The dispatcher asked if I wanted the officer to come to my house.
No, that won't be necessary, I said. I require my royal nap now. My performance has left me exhausted.
Now I think we'll have one more to be continued regarding the aftermath of Mama Grizzly attacks nine-year-old boys.
|Oh, highly overrated Meryl!|
You can wait a little longer to find out what happened.
You're such a drama queen.
and highly overrated Meryl